Day 18 without alcohol
18 Days without booze, I couln't have imagined this a month ago. It's strange having to deal with problems without alcohol, over the past couple of weeks there have been many occasions where I would have reached for a bottle. I think the root of all our problems are based upon fear, fear makes us drink and avoid our problems and if we don't get to resolve issues we don't move forward.
It takes a lot of faith and energy to address life without alcohol, faith both in yourself and also of spiritual design. I believe though that you have to take responsibility for your own life and if you can accept that and act when you need to then you've moved forward.
I feel really lucky, I truly do not crave alcohol and I never thought that was possible. With the booze out of the way I can feel my confidence growing, I still feel messed up a lot of the time, but self hypnosis and the Binaural beat CDs I create for Moonfish design help me through each day.
I managed to achieve quite a lot whilst under the influence of alcohol, found creativity and came up with some really good ideas, now I'm thinking "I wonder how much more I will be capable of without it"?
It's an exciting and yet scary place to be, it's like learning to live as a different person...if that makes sense?
I used to get stressed out and snappy when drinking, but now although things still try me, I feel more able to cope.
I think drink ceased to be fun for me when it stopped removing my inhibitions, I was as insecure drunk as I was sober. (Only I'd make more of an ass of myself whilst drunk!) Sometimes I wonder why my family and friends stuck by me, I know they could see I was on a self destructive path. All of the time I wonder why did I become an alcoholic? Was it just insecurity, the need to be loved?
I don't think I ever got to know what love was truly like while I was drinking, I think I was in love with the concept of love...but it was just a word and didn't mean much. I think to be able to love, you have to be able to love yourself first, not in an egotistical way, but in a spiritual way...does that make sense?
I think many Alcoholics relapse because they think once they've quit that's it! and maybe don't get to the root of the problem that made them an alcoholic in the first place. I think that faith can help here, but I don't think you can rely on a higher force to cure whatever mental problems you are harbouring. I think that part is down to you to seek help from a counselor and to digest as many good positive self help books you can find.
I think you also have to start to be honest, alcohol makes a liar of all alcoholics and to be open and truthful to those around you is a frightening experience, I'm struggling with it, but it's getting easier.
If you're reading this and feel your eyes starting to drop, or you start to yawn, I understand. These words serve as a constant reminder as to why I quit alcohol and gives me an opportunity for release. If I can help anyone in the process, then I'll feel this is worthwhile, but if it only serves to help me then that is good also.
Bye for now Rob :)
It takes a lot of faith and energy to address life without alcohol, faith both in yourself and also of spiritual design. I believe though that you have to take responsibility for your own life and if you can accept that and act when you need to then you've moved forward.
I feel really lucky, I truly do not crave alcohol and I never thought that was possible. With the booze out of the way I can feel my confidence growing, I still feel messed up a lot of the time, but self hypnosis and the Binaural beat CDs I create for Moonfish design help me through each day.
I managed to achieve quite a lot whilst under the influence of alcohol, found creativity and came up with some really good ideas, now I'm thinking "I wonder how much more I will be capable of without it"?
It's an exciting and yet scary place to be, it's like learning to live as a different person...if that makes sense?
I used to get stressed out and snappy when drinking, but now although things still try me, I feel more able to cope.
I think drink ceased to be fun for me when it stopped removing my inhibitions, I was as insecure drunk as I was sober. (Only I'd make more of an ass of myself whilst drunk!) Sometimes I wonder why my family and friends stuck by me, I know they could see I was on a self destructive path. All of the time I wonder why did I become an alcoholic? Was it just insecurity, the need to be loved?
I don't think I ever got to know what love was truly like while I was drinking, I think I was in love with the concept of love...but it was just a word and didn't mean much. I think to be able to love, you have to be able to love yourself first, not in an egotistical way, but in a spiritual way...does that make sense?
I think many Alcoholics relapse because they think once they've quit that's it! and maybe don't get to the root of the problem that made them an alcoholic in the first place. I think that faith can help here, but I don't think you can rely on a higher force to cure whatever mental problems you are harbouring. I think that part is down to you to seek help from a counselor and to digest as many good positive self help books you can find.
I think you also have to start to be honest, alcohol makes a liar of all alcoholics and to be open and truthful to those around you is a frightening experience, I'm struggling with it, but it's getting easier.
If you're reading this and feel your eyes starting to drop, or you start to yawn, I understand. These words serve as a constant reminder as to why I quit alcohol and gives me an opportunity for release. If I can help anyone in the process, then I'll feel this is worthwhile, but if it only serves to help me then that is good also.
Bye for now Rob :)
posted by Rob at 10:31 AM
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